Wednesday, November 28, 2012

An open letter to the love of my life, part 2


Dear love of my life,

Hi again. I wrote to you about a month ago -- did you reply? I haven't gotten a signed letter or a number identified as "LOVE OF YOUR LIFE" on my phone, so I can't be sure.

I've continued thinking about you. Your (presumed) absence is driving me bonkers, but I'm recasting the crazy as practice for when I'm crazy about you. As crazy, I hope, as you'll be for me.

Once when I was mourning a waning love with vast amounts of tears and snot, my patient listener let me moan and groan for a good 10 minutes, and then she asked, just once: "Are you crazy about him?"

I couldn't answer her. Because I knew if we had the kind of love that would see us through to the bitter, sweet, complex end, the answer should be yes. But I couldn't say yes. So I didn't say anything.

And there was my answer. To everything.

That's what it's going to come down to in the end. We're going to be wild about each other. We're going to crack each other up, go on play dates well into our 90s, tease our kids mercilessly, hold hands at the grocery store, attempt to eat healthy together but always resort to ice cream, look around rooms to see if the other has come in yet.

You'll be crazy about me. I'll be crazy about you. No big questions. No big doubts. Just calm assurance from the still, small voice.

In the meantime, however, I am descending into a pit of emotional wackiness and overblown chocolate consumption. Feel free to get in touch soon. We could all use a break.

Love,
Me

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A note on this week's post:

I received so many incredible responses and thoughts to the first Open Letter post that I had more than enough goodness to crowdsource a second prayer. So, here you go ... love in everyone's words, take 2.

Do you want to ring in and help take us to Open Letter 3? Leave your thoughts on love found, love lost, and love still searching in the comments!


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Prayer #232: An Open Letter to the Love of my Life (part 2)

I will tell you you're the best.

I also will apologize when my dog chews your shoes, gnaws your clothes, and steals your food. I know this will happen because no matter how old my dog is when I meet you, he will still be eating things he shouldn't be eating.

I look forward to thanking you for the chocolate cake you'll bring home for every occasion, because you will know me well enough to know that I love chocolate cake about as much as you, and you'll be fine with that. (I'd also like to thank you in advance for sharing the last cookie with me.)

I can't believe how excited I will be to see you every time I get to see you. Let's hug tightly, kiss passionately, act meaningfully, live fearlessly, and love unconditionally, no matter what life brings us.

Be warned: I won't know how to love you the way that you want, need, or deserve at first. But I will do everything I can to learn. For you, I will never stop learning how to love better. And I know that you will do the same for me.

We'll both understand that love is not an emotion, it's all emotions. But more than that, love is a decision -- the best decision we will ever get to make.

Failing to fetch me at first, keep encouraged.

Missing me one place, search another.

I will have stopped somewhere, waiting for you.

At that point, I'll feel like I waited forever. But then the rest of my forever will feel the way it should -- happily complete -- with you by my side.

Love will be found ... and hopefully found again, and again, and again, all with the same person. Because I love the idea of rediscovery -- even if I did learn it from Journey's Faithfully.

Amen.

1 comment:

  1. This is Exactly how I feel about my husband. I didn't meet him until I was nearly 30. I completely thought it would never happen, then it did. It'll happen for you too. Until then, nurture your friendships and go out a lot. It is possible to have a really emotionally fulfilling single life. And someday, you'll meet someone whom you love so much it'll fill you with wonder. (Which you will really need if you decide to have kids)

    My father once told me that you have to find someone who excites you mentally, emotionally, and physically, because at any given time at least two of those need to be operating to make a marriage work. If you don't start with all 3, you inevitably have problems later because which 2 are working will change over time. Since my parents have been happily married for nearly 40 years now, I figure he's probably onto something.

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