The stubborn heart is a lonely one
 |
| Photo by Amelien (Fr) |
Life: Oh come on. It's not that bad.
Heart: Yes it is. It's wracking and profound and worthy of endless, cyclical, non-conclusive thought.
Life: You are whacked. They love you. They ALL love you. In fact, you have more love than you know what to do with.
Heart: Then why doesn't he say what I want him to say? Why doesn't she support me like I support her? WHY IS NONE OF IT LIKE IT IS IN MY HEAD??
Life: Because you're nuts. Also -- who says they're not?
Heart: I say.
Life: Maybe that's it, then.
Heart: What are you insinuating?
Life: That it's you.
Heart: (gasp)
Life: Oh, get off it. All human relationships are tinged with sadness. It's the price we pay for acknowledging our own inadequacy and loving in spite of it.
Heart: I'm not comfortable with that.
Life: Yeah, I know. Hence our 67th cup of tea in a row.
Heart: But the sadness is winning! I see only the sadness! Where did the good go?
Life: Stop being so bloody bleeding. Shut up and pay attention. That's all you have to do. The listening, the invitations, the time, the love -- all that you want, you already have. In spades. Right in front of you. Just CALM THE EFF DOWN. (pause) Also, remember -- you're not so perfect yourself.
Heart: ...
Life: There. That made you miss a beat.
End scene.
Prayer #197: Owner of a Lonely Heart
Every day You write. Every day You call. And every day I shrug You off, waiting for the better offer.
So I suppose I am lonely by my own design.
Lord, help me perceive the love before me. Help me receive it. Help me believe it. And then help me relieve myself -- and others -- of the pressure to be everything for always. It's a standard none can achieve, and none should hold to, except when it comes to You.
Amen.