What I value, what I believe
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| Photo by Kyle Wong on Unsplash |
The day of the No Kings protest in June 2025, my family emerged from a quick visit to our local toy library to see a protest crowd gathering at the intersection right in front of us. My older child, who can now read, asked my husband, "Daddy, why are people here? And why do the signs say 'No Kings'?"
My husband, forever game for a lesson in civics and critical thinking, explained that many people disagree with our president's actions right now and so were gathering to express that disagreement, because that freedom was an important part of our democracy.
My kid frowned. "If I were in the protest, I would be quiet. I wouldn't be making a lot of noise."
"Why?" my husband asked.
"Because I trust the president." (Referring, we clarified, to the office of the president, not the actual sitting leader.)
My husband began to pose a series of questions. What if the president said people could no longer come to our country? What if the president said people who live here couldn't live here
anymore and had to leave? What if the president said that we
weren't going to help people who didn't have enough to eat? Who were very sick? Who were in danger? What if the
president said he could do whatever he wanted and didn't have to follow
any rules? What if ...
My eldest again furrowed his brow, this time for a different reason: "Oh. That wouldn't be right. I don't agree with that."
By this point the crowd had grown, and we asked our kids if they wanted to go stand with everyone for a few minutes. They declined, but did express they wanted to drive down the main street and honk in support. So we pulled out of the parking lot, turned left on the main drag, and found ourselves passing a mile's worth of people. I choked up at the sight. I couldn't honk often enough or loudly enough. All these people embodying their beliefs, while I was cruising along wondering how we could best demonstrate our family values to our children.
As social media has combusted over the years in its breadth and depth of outrage, I rarely say anything "out loud" on those channels about where I stand on any given issue. I have several reasons for holding back: Social media doesn't allow nuance or lend itself to civil discourse, rage burns me out, too many fresh crises occur daily to keep up, and my own ignorance around many issues feels so profound I'd rather say nothing than add to the fleeting, braying chorus.
But as I continue to ponder and explore what is my lane, I recognize that I do have deeply held values that guide my beliefs, and that articulating them to myself will further ground me in them. Further, the clearer and firmer I am in where I stand, the better I can model loving actions for my children.
So instead of trying to respond to every fresh horror, I'm going to capture here, in my own little corner of the internet, the principles that animate my life. How will I know I've succeeded in communicating them? When I act in accordance with these values, none of you will be surprised.
What I Value (in alphabetical order)
Creativity, Communication, Compassion, Generosity, Grace, Change, Relationship
What I Believe (a sampler platter)
I believe every child has the right to grow up and grow old with as much health, safety, and love as we—the community, society, and world around them—can muster.
I believe we have more than enough resources on earth—land, water, food, opportunity, attention—to go around. We need not hoard it.
I believe humankind can envision and enact a world without want. To me, making it happen is not a question of ability, but of imagination.
I believe war is never the answer.
I believe a force exists in the universe that is bigger than ourselves, but I'm not always sure what to call it or how to access it.
I believe everyone, regardless of age or background, would feel 172%* more resilient and joyful from reconnecting with a sense of play in their lives. (May I recommend trying improv?)
I believe we all bear creative flames, and when we create in ways that bring us satisfaction and delight, we quietly brighten the world.
I believe people share more values than they realize or admit.
I believe I owe a person at least one full, good-faith conversation before I rush to any conclusion or judgement about them.
I believe humans are more than capable of civil dialogue and discourse; we're just rusty at it. (May I recommend we lean more into learning history, civics, and the five-paragraph essay format?)
I believe that radical hospitality starts simply—by opening your door when the doorbell rings, by inviting your visitors inside, by offering a snack, by lending an ear, by sharing your toys.
I believe critical thinking will emerge as the most essential tool for resistance and resilience in the 21st century.
I believe public libraries are the unheralded glue of local communities.
I believe that the vast majority of people are fundamentally good and want to do well by others. In fact, I believe all people are born this way. Whether they stay this way is where my belief is currently wavering.
I believe that every person is a child of God, made in God's miraculous image. Full stop. No exceptions. A belief that extends to mean that God loves and cherishes each person as they are. Full stop. No exceptions. Which decisively proves I am not God, because living out this belief and treating each and every person with grace and dignity will be the hard work of my pitiful lifetime. Full stop. No exceptions.
I believe I am capable of living my values, and I know I will try.
Prayer #412: Confidence Interval
"... overlapping confidence intervals suggest there's no significant difference between them. If the intervals don't overlap, that indicates a statistically significant difference at our chosen confidence level. This insight is vital for drawing meaningful conclusions and making informed decisions."
Despite what current discourse might have you believe, I am not seeking to overlap with you.
Even if our edges so align they disappear, even if our outer limits trace separate orbits, I will treat you with the curiosity and compassion you deserve.
In fact, I rely on your reflection to keep me honest—honest about my own values, yes, but ultimately honest in the face of the force I can't quite name.
And now I say to that same force: No certitude or surety here. Only love, grounded, arising.
Amen.
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Seeking to embiggen your own loving-kindness in the world? Check out the chapter titled "Compassion: How Can I Make My Heart Bigger?" in my book, Amen? Questions for a God I Hope Exists, for prayerful and poetic inspiration.
Note: The values and beliefs I express in this post are 1000% my own. Not those of my employer, publisher, church, spouse, parents, sibling, next-door neighbor, hairdresser, etc.
* actual statistic drawn from very serious independent study and analysis