Friday, December 12, 2008

12 Christmas wishes you will not see anywhere else

Some families traditionally have gift exchanges at Christmas. Others attend services. Still more host feasts. My family? We revel in the annual reading of my brother's Christmas wish list.

This is no ordinary list. This is a carefully crafted, superbly written feat of holiday cajoling. It has humor. It has drama. It even has a cover sheet with Dickensian font! And it stands as one of the brightest moments in our Christmas spectrum.

So this year, I'd like to share the list with you. If you enjoy what you see and want to reward the tenacious author, please send all gifts to Julia's Brother, c/o Julia, Blogtown USA. Thank you.

[Brother] Rocchi’s Annual Christmas List 2008

Below are all the things I want for Christmas, you may decide for yourself which ones are feasible within the next month. I expect to get everything on this list EVENTUALLY, so don’t start slacking just because the holiday season is over.

1. Call of Duty: World At War (Features the Pacific theatre, don’t be fooled by imitators and previous editions).

2. The ability to talk to animals.

3. TKE gear, which will be highlighted in that mini-brochure I got in the mail.

4. Just one Faberge egg. Just one, that’s all I ask.

5. Gloves. Not just any gloves, legitimate leather gloves. Hitman gloves, for lack of a better term.

6. An alcoholic beverage should be named after me. This is not a Christmas request, I just want you to know that. If it’s a beer I want it to be “Rocky’s Lager” and if its hard liquor it should be “Frankie the Goon’s Prohibition Whiskey” (These are working titles, feel free to offer suggestions).

7. The rest of Dante’s Divine Comedy, Purgatoria and Paradiso.

8. This is a big one. I am trying to get a larger TV, playing Xbox 360 on a 20 inch screen is a waste of the Xbox. I would never ask you to get the whole thing, but maybe a small contribution via best buy card or something…your call, its not a big deal.

9. One of George Washington’s wooden teeth.

10. A small bag of various toiletries (I’m running low on the supply Kevin and Lisa got me last year for the Pollyanna).

11. 100 acres of land in an old growth forest. For two reasons 1) Land, it’s the only thing they’re not making more of 2) I want to sit on my front porch with a mint julep and remark “its good to own land.”

12. A horse so I can properly survey my 100 acres.

The End.

No comments:

Post a Comment