Thursday, March 08, 2007

Prayer #16: Pro at Living

Prayer #16: Pro at Living

Just reread my old retreat letters from junior and senior year of high school. Powerful stuff.

What amazes me is that each time, six different people walked away, wrote independent letters, and said the exact same, specific things. (That proves they weren't just writing generic, get-me-out-of-this-mandatory-letter drivel, haha.)

And the words that kept coming up! Compassion, listening ear, leadership, confidence, poise, kindness, love, understanding, strength. It was unbelievably humbling then, and even more so now.

But it also fills me with the right sort of pride. These letters -- written by my peers when we were young and in the midst of great transition -- reminds me of what tough stuff we were made of.

That type of strength of character doesn't die. If it's in you, it stays in you. It may ebb and flow, but it never evaporates.

I'm glad I read these letters tonight. I needed the reminder that I *am* a good person, that I *do* have much to contribute. I remembered how filled with self-doubt I was about my abilities as a retreat leader, yet how miraculous that weekend became, not only for me, but for my classmates.

There's the lesson in all this, Lord: When I call on You from my lowest, most fearful point, You support me with mind-blowing strength. You grant me resources I never imagine, endow me with abilities I never knew I could wield.

I am at the moment again now. In fact, I'm at such moments often, and will be for most of my life. Keep these beautiful letters forever inscribed on my heart and in my beliefs, as fresh as the winter day on which they were written, so I can look back on them for courage.

And what better way to close than with one of the girls' words?

"Enjoy college and life itself. And don't worry about it ... you're a pro at living!"

Why, thank you!!!

And thank you, God, for making me so.

Amen.

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