Monday, July 13, 2009

Prayer #74: Is This Thing On?

Take a cup of antics, throw in a handful of twitterpation, and ask the wolf at the door to give it a stir. Makes 1 new prayer and 6 gray hairs.

Prayer #74: Is This Thing On?

We need to have a chat, God.

Nothing is clear right now. Nothing. I tried to figure things out. That didn't work. Then I tried to not figure things out. That didn't work either. Now I'm trying to figure out how not to figure things out so that I can stop trying to figure things out. And oh. It's not working.

How are You calling me to work? How are You calling me to (fall in?) love? How are You calling me to decide? How are You calling me to move? Hell, are You calling me at all?

I can't connect with You on even one of these questions right now. How then do You expect me to address them all?

Maybe I haven't handed the confusion over to You as totally as I thought. But maybe I DID hand it over and You dropped the ball. Or maybe You handed them back to me and I dropped the ball.

I don't know. And I don't know because I can't seem to tune into Your explanation. Mind, heart, body -- all are too noisy. All are too frustrated. All are too worn out with beating ceaselessly against the rocks.

So just answer me this, God -- are You listening? Or do You not hear me as clearly as I don't hear You?

Amen.

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