DMV = designating myself as Virginian


Dane Cook The DMV - Watch more free videos

As the fitting conclusion of one of my more serious bouts of procrastination, my much-loved, intact, slightly sticky PA driver's license went the way of the dinosaurs today. In its place: a not as pretty but equally serviceable VA license that proves my identity and shows service people I'm really not trying to pull a fast one on them.

I spent my time at the DMV wallowing in nostalgia. Oh, the places that PA license took me! Back and forth to college, up and down the East Coast, over to DC. I could display it at bars and act like I was visiting. The license design was so legible, clean, bright. And I had such a good hair day in my picture.

Now, my VA license is new and unfamiliar. The background holograms are blah. I messed up my signature. My face looks bright red (thank goodness I'm smiling), and I'm tilted in my chair. Worse, I have to memorize a whole new number, though let's be serious, I didn't bother memorizing the old one, so never mind.

But that's all of little consequence (at least until 2016 when I renew it). The important thing is, I have committed to my new state. One year after moving here, I am declaring that yes I drive here, yes I do business here, yes I live here, and yes MY home -- not my parents' -- truly is my home base.

Now, if only I would get around to changing my cell phone number ...